100 Funny Doctor Jokes
Here are 100 Funny Doctor Jokes and the Best Doctor Puns for Kids and Adults.
Here is our top list of Doctor Dad Jokes. Find your favorite puns about Doctor and then share them with your friends and family to make fun.
Doctor Puns
Here are 100 collections of Funny Doctor Jokes.
1. Why did the doctor carry a red pen? In case they needed to draw blood!
2. What did the doctor say to the patient with the broken leg? “I’ve got you covered from head to toe!”
3. Why did the doctor carry a thermometer in their pocket? In case they needed to take someone’s temperature on the fly!
4. Why did the doctor bring a ladder to the pharmacy? Because they heard the pills were on the top shelf!
5. Why did the doctor go to the art exhibition? They wanted to see the X-ray-ted art!
6. Why did the doctor bring a computer to the appointment? They wanted to check if the patient had any viruses!
7. Why did the doctor always carry a map? In case they had to find a new way to the heart!
8. What did one tonsil say to the other tonsil? “Better get dressed, the doctor is taking us out!”
9. Why did the doctor become a gardener? They wanted to help people feel better from the ground up!
10. What’s a doctor’s favorite kind of music? Anything that’s HIP-hop
11. Why did the doctor carry a stethoscope to the bar? To listen to people’s heart-to-hearts!
12. Why did the doctor bring a ladder to the hospital? Patients told them they were feeling a bit rung out!
13. What did the doctor say to the patient who swallowed a coin? “Change is on the way!”
14. Why did the doctor become a chef? They wanted to cure food poisoning with their special “stew-per” powers!
15. Why did the doctor go to the beach? To catch some vitamin Sea!
16. What do you call a doctor who fixes websites? A “URLologist”!
17. Why did the doctor carry a backpack full of herbs? They wanted to give their patients a taste of natural medicine!
18. Why did the doctor carry a baseball bat? To treat “battered” patients!
19. What did the doctor say to the patient with a broken arm and leg? “Don’t worry, you’re all right now!”
20. Why did the doctor carry a broom? To “sweep” patients off their feet with great care!
21. Why did the doctor become an actor? They wanted to perform “medical dramas” in more than one way!
22. What did the doctor say to the computer? “You’re not feeling well? Have you tried turning yourself off and on again?”
23. Why did the doctor always have a map of the human body? In case they got lost in thought!
24. What do you call a doctor who fixes cars? A “mechanic-al” practitioner!
25. Why did the doctor bring a plant to the surgery? They thought a little “herb therapy” would do wonders!
26. What’s a doctor’s favorite part of a joke? The punchline, of course!
27. Why did the doctor carry a mirror? To reflect on their patient’s health!
28. Why did the doctor become an archaeologist? They wanted to dig up the past of their patients’ ailments!
29. What’s a doctor’s favorite dessert? “Jello” shots!
30. Why did the doctor bring a map to the operating room? In case they needed to find the patient’s “Liverpool”!
31. What’s a doctor’s favorite kind of TV show? “Grey’s Anatomy”!
32. Why did the doctor always have a suitcase? To make house calls in style!
33. What did the doctor say to the patient who lost their voice? “You’ll be fine, you just need to find your pitch!”
34. Why did the doctor become a gardener? They wanted to help patients “grow” healthier!
35. What did the doctor say to the patient with a broken nose? “I’ve got you covered, don’t be nosy!”
36. Why did the doctor carry a clock? To remind them it’s always “second” nature to help!
37. What’s a doctor’s favorite instrument? The “patient” piano!
38. Why did the doctor become a musician? They wanted to perform “heart-felt” notes!
39. What did the doctor say to the patient who thought they were a vampire? “I think you’re just ‘vein’!”
40. Why did the doctor always have a deck of cards? To play a game of “diagnosis” with patients!
41. What did the doctor say to the patient who swallowed a pen? “Don’t worry, it’s just mightier than the sword!”
42. Why did the doctor become a banker? They wanted to deal with “blood pressure”!
43. What did the doctor say to the computer with a virus? “Have you tried taking your ones and zeros daily?”
44. Why did the doctor bring a trampoline to the clinic? To give their patients a “bounce” in their step!
45. What’s a doctor’s favorite exercise? “Medical citation”!
46. Why did the doctor carry a dictionary? To look up the meaning of “heartfelt”!
47. What did the doctor say to the patient who swallowed a dictionary? “Don’t fret, words can’t hurt you!”
48. Why did the doctor become a musician? They wanted to “compose” better health!
49. What did the doctor say to the patient who complained about hearing loss? “Can you speak up? My stethoscope’s clogged with earwax!”
50. Why did the doctor become a gardener? They wanted to help people “bloom” back to health!
51. What’s a doctor’s favorite kind of fish? A “sturgeon”!
52. Why did the doctor bring a sewing kit to the clinic? To mend broken hearts, of course!
53. What did the doctor say to the patient with a sore throat? “Just swallow these jokes, you’ll feel better in no time!”
54. Why did the doctor bring a ladder to the pharmacy? To help patients “climb” to recovery!
55. What’s a doctor’s favorite season? “Flu” season!
56. Why did the doctor become a musician? They wanted to perform “well-being” notes!
57. What did the doctor say to the patient who complained about memory loss? “I’m sorry, who are you again?”
58. Why did the doctor become a tailor? They wanted to “stitch” up wounds in style!
59. What’s a doctor’s favorite planet? “Germs”!
60. Why did the doctor always have a suitcase of fruit? To give their patients a “healthy dose”!
61. What did the doctor say to the patient with a broken leg? “Don’t worry, you’re on the mend!”
62. Why did the doctor become an artist? They wanted to “draw out” their patients’ health!
63. What’s a doctor’s favorite tree? A “stetho-scope” tree!
64. Why did the doctor carry a notebook? To jot down “vital” information!
65. What did the doctor say to the patient who swallowed a harmonica? “Don’t worry, you’ll be back in tune soon enough!”
66. Why did the doctor become a pilot? They wanted to “soar” above medical issues!
67. What’s a doctor’s favorite dance? The “dis-co-location”!
68. Why did the doctor carry a flashlight? To “shed light” on the situation!
69. What did the doctor say to the patient with a broken nose and a violin? “Don’t worry, I can fix both your ‘strings’!”
70. Why did the doctor become a tailor? They wanted to “stitch up” their patients’ worries!
71. What’s a doctor’s favorite instrument? The “saxa-pill”!
72. Why did the doctor always have a ruler? To measure the extent of “heightened” situations!
73. What did the doctor say to the patient who claimed they were a tree? “I’m afraid I can’t ‘bark’ up that tree of diagnosis!”
74. Why did the doctor become a detective? They wanted to solve “medical mysteries”!
75. What’s a doctor’s favorite shape? “Health”-agons!
76. Why did the doctor carry a calculator? To keep the “count” of good wishes!
77. What did the doctor say to the patient with a sore throat and a tambourine? “Looks like you’ve got a ‘sore beat’!”
78. Why did the doctor become a mathematician? They wanted to “add up” to patients’ recovery!
79. What’s a doctor’s favorite part of a joke? The “diagnosis”!
80. Why did the doctor always have a camera? To capture “snapshots” of health!
81. What did the doctor say to the patient who claimed to be invisible? “I’m not buying that ‘transparent’ excuse!”
82. Why did the doctor become a lawyer? They wanted to handle “medical cases”!
83. What’s a doctor’s favorite sport? “Sick” -er!
84. Why did the doctor carry a phone? To stay “cell-f” aware of their patient’s needs!
85. What did the doctor say to the patient who swallowed a clock? “You’ll be fine, but your days might be a bit ‘wound’ up!”
86. Why did the doctor become a tailor? They wanted to “sew” up any health concerns!
87. What’s a doctor’s favorite vehicle? An “ambulance”!
88. Why did the doctor carry a magic wand? To make health problems “disappear”!
89. What did the doctor say to the patient who claimed they had a broken funny bone? “Don’t worry, I’ll tell you a joke and see if it tickles!”
90. Why did the doctor become a librarian? They wanted to check out “healthy” books!
Best Doctor jokes
Here are the Best doctor jokes.
91. Why did the doctor bring a ladder to the laboratory? They heard the cure was up in the “test” tubes!
92. What did the doctor say to the patient who claimed to be a tomato? “Well, let’s hope you’re not ‘squeezed’ for time!”
93. Why did the doctor become a gardener? They wanted to “cultivate” good health!
94. What’s a doctor’s favorite weather? “Achoo”-cumulus clouds!
95. Why did the doctor carry a camera to the surgery? To capture “shots” of healing!
96. What did the doctor say to the patient who complained about shortness of breath? “Don’t worry, we’ll get to the ‘lung’ of the matter!”
97. Why did the doctor become a musician? They wanted to “compose” a prescription for laughter!
98. What’s a doctor’s favorite book? “The Great Medical Stations”!
99. Why did the doctor carry a rubber chicken? To add a little “cluck-ter” to their appointments!
100. What did the doctor say to the patient who claimed they were turning into a tree? “It’s just a ‘branch’ of your imagination!”
Final Thoughts about Doctor Jokes
Remember, humor is subjective, so different people may find jokes funny. But I hope these Doctor jokes brought a smile to your face! You can find them from YOJOKE to hear more about Occupation Jokes.
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