100 Funny Snake Jokes

Here are 100 Snake Jokes and the Best Snake  Puns for Kids and Adults.

Here is our top list of Snake Dad Jokes. Find your favorite puns about Snake and then share them with your friends and family members to make fun.

Snake Puns

Here are 100 collections of Funny Snake Jokes.

1. Why did the snake go to school? To improve his history!

2. What do you call a snake that works for the government? A civil serpent!

3. Why don’t snakes have friends? Because they’re too hissy!

4. How do you measure a snake? In inches… they don’t have feet!

5. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? History!

6. Why did the snake cross the road? To get to the other seaside!

7. What do you call a snake that’s a good dancer? A snakeerina!

8. How do snakes write letters? With a history!

9. What do you get when you cross a snake and a pie? A python!

10. Why don’t snakes like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!

11. What do you call a snake with a great singing voice? A boa constrictor!

12. How do snakes calculate their weight? They use scales!

13. Why was the snake blushing? Because it saw the boa-ty next door!

14. What do you call a snake who works for the government? A civil serpent!

15. What kind of snakes are good at doing magic? Copperheads!

16. Why did the snake become a doctor? Because it knew how to hipster!

17. What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A python!

18. Why do snakes never go on road trips? They always get car sick!

19. What’s a snake’s favorite instrument? The trumpet!

20. How did the snake feel after it shed its skin? Shedtastic!

21. What’s a snake’s favorite dessert? Mice cream!

22. What do you call a snake who plays the piano? A snake charmer!

23. Why don’t snakes have legs? Because they lost their legs in a bet!

24. What do you call a snake that becomes a famous actor? A star!

25. How do snakes send messages? By slithering-mail!

26. What do you call a snake that’s good at math? A slithery mathematician!

27. What’s a snake’s favorite kind of movie? Ssslithers!

28. Why did the snake bring a ladder to the bar? I heard the drinks were in the house!

29. How do snakes order food at a restaurant? They slide their menu choices to the waiter!

30. What do you get when you cross a snake with a kangaroo? A jump rope!

31. Why did the snake join the gym? To get hiss-terically fit!

32. What do you call a snake that’s 3.14 meters long? A pi-thon!

33. How does a snake sign letters? With his!

34. Why don’t snakes like fast food? Because they can’t catch it!

35. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? History!

36. Why did the snake become a poet? It had a way with words!

37. What’s a snake’s favorite dance move? The Mamba!

38. How do snakes pay for things? With credit history!

39. What do you call a snake that’s good at math? A slithery mathematician!

40. What do you call a snake with a great sense of humor? A funny-bone constrictor!

41. Why don’t snakes argue? They like to avoid history!

42. What did the snake say when sorry, it seems like there was a formatting issue with the previous response.

43. What did the snake say when it bumped into itself? “Excuse me, I’m hysterical!”

44. Why was the snake asked to be quiet during the movie? It kept his-tearing too loudly!

45. What did the snake say to its partner? “You’re the missing hiss in my life!”

46. Why did the snake bring a ladder to the bar? I heard the drinks were in the house!

47. What’s a snake’s favorite dance move? The Mamba!

48. Why did the snake go to the library? It wanted to find some historical documents!

49. How do snakes pay for things? With credit history!

50. What’s a snake’s favorite song?“Hiss-tory” by Michael Jackson!

51. Why did the snake start a band? I wanted to be a hiss-trial musician!

52. What do you call a snake that’s a math expert? A mathematician!

53. What do you call a snake with a great sense of humor? A funny-bone constrictor!

54. How do snakes communicate on the internet? They use hiss-book!

55. Why don’t snakes argue? They like to avoid history!

56. What do you call a snake who tells jokes? A hysterical comedian!

57. How did the snake feel after it shed its skin? Shed-tastic!

58. What’s a snake’s favorite card game? Slither-poker!

59. Why was the Snake a great baseball player? It knew how to catch a hiss!

60. What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A jump rope!

61. How do snakes send messages? By slithering-mail!

62. Why did the snake refuse to go on the roller coaster? It didn’t have the stomach for it!

63. What’s a snake’s favorite type of music? Hip hiss!

64. How do snakes stay fit? They exercise regularly!

65. What’s a snake’s favorite type of footwear? Slippers!

66. Why don’t snakes eat clowns? They taste funny!

68. What do you call a snake with a great singing voice? A boa constrictor!

69. How do snakes calculate their weight? They use scales!

70. What did the snake say when it bumped into itself? “Excuse me, I’m hysterical!”

71. What do you call a snake that’s always happy? A jolly python!

72. Why did the snake go to the doctor? It had a reptile dysfunction!

73. What’s a snake’s favorite type of car? A “Hisss-san”!

74. How do you catch a snake? Use a “mouse”-tard!

75. What do you call a snake that plays basketball? A “Slam-dunk-viper”!

76. What’s a snake’s favorite month? “Hiss-member”!

77. Why did the snake become a poet? It had a way with words!

78. How do snakes propose? They give a “hiss-trial” speech!

79. What’s a snake’s favorite food? Mouse-tard!

80. How do snakes measure distances? They use “inch” tapes!

81. What do you call a snake with a crown? A “Hiss-ter”!

82. Why don’t snakes have girlfriends? They’re too hiss-trial!

83. What’s a snake’s favorite rock band? “The Cobras”82. Why did the snake become a rockstar? It loved to rattle the crowd!

84. How did the snake do on its math test? It was hiss-appointing!

85. What do you call a snake that tells tall tales? A hiss-terian!

86. Why don’t snakes eat spicy food? It gives them hiss-burn!

87. What do you call a snake that’s an expert in martial arts? A hiss-ter of disguise!

88. Why did the snake go to the dance party? It wanted to do the sss-salsa!

89. How do you make a snake laugh? You tell it a hysterical joke!

90. What’s a snake’s favorite ice cream flavor? Ssslitherine!

91. Why was the Snake a great musician? It had scales!

92. How do snakes make important decisions? They flip a hiss!

93. What do you call a snake with a fancy hat? A hiss-serious!

94. Why did the snake bring a suitcase to the desert? It wanted to have sss-sandwiches!

95. What do you call a snake that tells secrets? A hiss-serious informant!

96. Why don’t snakes take up gardening? They don’t have green thumbs!

97. What’s a snake’s favorite subject in school? Ssslitherature!

98. How do snakes navigate through the city? They use his waterways!

99. Why did the snake start a business? It wanted to make history!

100. What did the snake say to its partner on Valentine’s Day? “You’re the hiss to my heart!”

101. How do snakes celebrate their birthdays? With a hiss-toric party!

I hope these jokes bring a smile to your face!