75 Funny Vampires Jokes
Here are 75 Funny Vampires Jokes and the Best Vampires Puns for Kids and Adults.
Here is our top list of Vampires Jokes. Find your favorite puns about vampires and then share them with your friends and family to make fun.
Vampires Jokes
Here are 75 jokes about the Vampires.
1. Why did the vampires get a pet dog? To have something to chase instead of blood!
2. What do vampires use to clean their floors? A vacuum-pires!
3. Did you hear about the vampire who opened a restaurant? It had a great bite!
4. Why did the vampire go to school? To improve his “literacy” skills!
5. How do vampires stay up-to-date with the latest news? They read the “Bite Times” newspaper!
6. Why did the vampire get a job at the blood bank? To make a withdrawal!
7. What do you call a vampire who tells jokes? A “prepare”!
8. How do vampires communicate with each other? Through “fanmail”!
9. What’s a vampire’s favorite fruit? A blood orange!
10. How do vampires get around the city? They use “batteries” in their cars!
11. What’s a vampire’s favorite song? “I Want to Suck Your Blood” by Queen!
12. Why did the vampire get a computer? He wanted to surf the “vampire web”!
13. What do you get when you cross a vampire and a snowman? Frostbite!
14. Why did the vampire get a job at the bakery? To learn how to make “bite-sized” treats!
15. What did one vampire say to the other? “I want to suck your jokes!”
16. What’s a vampire’s favorite dance? The “vamp waltz”!
17. Why did the vampire get a job at the hospital? To learn more about blood types!
18. What do you call a vampire who loves baseball? A “fang-kee” player!
19. How do vampires celebrate Valentine’s Day? With a “love at first bite” party!
20. Why did the vampire get a cell phone? To make “blood calls”!
21. What do you call a vampire with a fever? A “hot-blooded” vampire!
22. How do vampires stay cool in the summer? They go to the “bathroom”!
23. Why did the vampire refuse to play cards? Because he was afraid of getting a “bad bite”!
24. What do you call a vampire who’s always on time? A “punctual-pire”!
25. Why did the vampire become a comedian? He wanted to “suck up” to the audience!
26. What’s a vampire’s favorite holiday? Halloween, of “coffin”!
27. How do vampires exercise? They do “bat-gates”!
28. Why did the vampire get a job at the library? To learn more about “counting”!
29. What do you call a vampire who loves vegetables? A “salad-pire”!
30. How do vampires make decisions? They “Dracula” a lot of advice!
31. Why did the vampire get a job at the circus? To learn the “tight-bite” act!
32. What’s a vampire’s favorite dessert? Blood pudding!
33. How do vampires write messages? They use “bat-flies” instead of letters!
34. Why did the vampire get a pet parrot? To have a “blood-curdling” conversation!
35. What do vampires use to fix their clothes? “Vamp-ire tape”!
36. Why did the vampire go to the art museum? To appreciate the “fang-tastic” paintings!
37. How do vampires stay warm in the winter? They wear “cloaked”!
38. What do you call a vampire who’s a computer expert? A “byte-pire”!
39. Why did the vampire get a job at the theater? To learn about “dram-pires”!
40. What’s a vampire’s favorite game? Hide and “go bite”!
41. How do vampires keep their skin looking good? They use “bat-cream” lotion!
42. Why did the vampire become a gardener? To learn about “trans-planting”!
43. What do you call a vampire’s favorite meal? A “bloody banquet”!
44. How do vampires write secret messages? They use “bat-encryption”!
45. Why did the vampire get a job at the zoo? To learn about “bat-altitude”!
46. What’s a vampire’s favorite exercise? The “blood pressure” workout!
47. How do vampires relax? They take a “bathtub” soak!
48. Why did the vampire become a chef? To create “fang-tastic” recipes!
49. What do you call a vampire’s musical performance? A “sym-bite-only”!
50. How do vampires do math? With “count-dracula” techniques!
51. Why did the vampire get a job at the post office? To learn about “fang-licks”!
52. What’s a vampire’s favorite card game? “Bitejack”!
53. How do vampires make coffee? With a “fang-presso” machine!
54. Why did the vampire get a job at the gym? To learn about “exer-bite”!
55. What’s a vampire’s favorite exercise equipment? The “bite mill”!
56. How do vampires go shopping? They use “baskets” made from coffin wood!
57. Why did the vampire become a musician? He wanted to play “blood-curdling” tunes!
58. What’s a vampire’s favorite Shakespeare play? “Romeo and Ghouliet”!
59. How do vampires stay organized? They use “casket organizers”!
60. Why did the vampire get a job at the bakery? To learn about “baking and biting”!
Best Vampires Puns
Here are some Best Vampires Puns.
61. What’s a vampire’s favorite game show? “Wheel of Fright”!
62. How do vampires tell time? They use a “fang-dial” watch!
63. Why did the vampire become a tailor? To learn about “sew-pires”!
64. What’s a vampire’s favorite social media platform? “Vamp-Instagram”!
65. How do vampires keep their hair neat? They use “fang-cy” hair products!
66. Why did the vampire become an astronaut? To explore “space-bite”!
67. What’s a vampire’s favorite type of music? “Rock and Bite”!
68. How do vampires stay positive? They have a “glass-half-bite” attitude!
69. Why did the vampire get a job at the circus? To perform “death-defying bites”!
70. What’s a vampire’s favorite sport? “Bite-ball”!
71. How do vampires learn new things? They attend “night classes”!
72. Why did the vampire become a painter? To create “bloody beautiful” art!
73. What’s a vampire’s favorite weather? “Bite-y” conditions!
74. How do vampires keep their secrets? They use “cask-encryption”!
75. Why did the vampire get a job at the bakery? To make “bat-tastic” pastries!
Final Thoughts about Vampires Jokes
I hope these vampire jokes brought a smile to your face! You can find them from YOJOKE to hear more Funny Jokes
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