65 Funny Lawyers Jokes
Here are 65 Funny Lawyers Jokes and the Best Lawyers Puns for Kids and Adults.
Here is our top list of Lawyer’s Dad Jokes. Find your favorite puns about Lawyers and then share them with your friends and family to make fun.
Lawyers Puns
Here are 65 collections of Funny Lawyers Jokes.
1. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.
2. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
3. What do you call a lawyer who doesn’t chase ambulances? Retired.
4. How can you tell if a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.
5. Why did the lawyer go to the doctor? He had too many objections.
6. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
7. How many lawyer jokes are there? Only three. The rest are true stories.
8. What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50? Your honor.
9. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
10. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
11. Why don’t lawyers go to heaven? Because they’re always arguing over the rules.
12. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vulture? Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer miles.
13. Why did the lawyer go broke? His briefs were too long.
14. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One’s a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
15. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
16. Why don’t lawyers enjoy playing hide and seek? Because good players can never be found.
17. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a rooster? Lawyers get up early to crow about their victories.
18. How does an attorney sleep? First, they lie on one side. Then they lie on the other.
19. What do you call a lawyer who tries to become a musician? A note-worthy attempt.
20. Why did the lawyer start a gardening business? Because he had a knack for getting to the root of problems.
21. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A vampire only sucks blood at night.
22. How can you tell if a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.
23. Why did the lawyer wear two pairs of pants? To keep his legs out of circulation.
24. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of pigs? The lawyer eventually gets clean.
25. Why did the lawyer go to therapy? He had too many issues.
26. How does a lawyer say goodbye? “Have a litigious day!”
27. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum? The bucket.
28. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.
29. How does a lawyer sleep? First, they lie on one side. Then they lie on the other.
30. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.
31. What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
32. How can you tell if a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
33. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito? One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.
34. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
35. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
36. Why did the lawyer go broke? His briefs were too long.
37. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
38. Why don’t lawyers go to heaven? Because they’re always arguing over the rules.
39. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One’s a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
40. How does a lawyer sleep? First, they lie on one side. Then they lie on the other.
41. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
42. Why did the lawyer start a gardening business? Because he had a knack for getting to the root of problems.
43. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A vampire only sucks blood at night.
44. How can you tell if a lawyer is lying? Other lawyers look interested.
45. Why did the lawyer wear two pairs of pants? To keep his legs out of circulation.
46. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of pigs? The lawyer eventually gets clean.
47. Why did the lawyer go to therapy? He had too many issues.
48. How does a lawyer say goodbye? “Have a litigious day!”
49. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a bucket of pond scum? The bucket.
50. Why don’t lawyers go to the beach? Cats keep trying to bury them in the sand.
Best Lawyers jokes
Here are the Best Lawyer’s jokes.
51. How does a lawyer sleep? First, they lie on one side. Then they lie on the other.
52. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a liar? The pronunciation.
53. What do you call a lawyer gone bad? Senator.
54. How can you tell if a lawyer is lying? His lips are moving.
55. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a mosquito? One is a bloodsucking parasite, the other is an insect.
56. How do you get a lawyer out of a tree? Cut the rope.
57. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a leech? After you die, a leech stops sucking your blood.
58. Why did the lawyer go broke? His briefs were too long.
59. How do you stop a lawyer from drowning? Shoot him before he hits the water.
60. Why don’t lawyers go to heaven? Because they’re always arguing over the rules.
61. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a jellyfish? One’s a spineless, poisonous blob. The other is a form of sea life.
62. How does a lawyer sleep? First, they lie on one side. Then they lie on the other.
63. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo? The lawyer charges more.
64. Why did the lawyer start a gardening business? Because he had a knack for getting to the root of problems.
65. What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? A vampire only sucks blood at night.
Final Thoughts about Lawyers’ Jokes
Remember, humor is subjective, so different people may find jokes funny. But I hope these Lawyer’s jokes brought a smile to your face! You can find them from YOJOKE to hear more about Occupation Jokes.
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